


Homecoming

by endgirl



Category: Legend of the Seeker
Genre: F/F, Femslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-01
Updated: 2011-07-01
Packaged: 2017-10-20 22:34:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/217814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endgirl/pseuds/endgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Returning to Aydindril is not quite what Kahlan had hoped.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Homecoming

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [legendland](http://legendland.livejournal.com) picture prompt challenge. Picture is [here](http://i.imgur.com/2UCmzJU.jpg).

Almost everything was the same. The people spoke in the same accent, with familiar awe and terror. The food, luscious and heavy compared to roadside fare, was spiced with the flavors she recalled from her childhood. The same paintings hung in the halls, the same sycophants crowded the council chambers, and in the early mornings birds still landed on the balcony outside her sprawling rooms.

When she first arrived, she expected to find solace within these old walls. But as weeks passed and her soul still throbbed, Kahlan was forced to conclude that it was she who had changed.

Kahlan went through the motions. She signed documents and met with petitioners. She kept her face blank as she walked by the quarters that once held her sisters, now dead, and she stood silently in rooms until every knee dropped to the floor and every head bowed in reverence. She took the confessions of twelve men convicted of war crimes. She saw each D’Haran’s blue eyes turn to vicious black, but instead of satisfaction she felt only discomfort. She turned away when she heard courtiers whisper that she was the last.

Zedd peeked in on her from time to time, when he could be spared from the Wizard’s Keep or when he preferred a hot meal from the kitchens. He told Kahlan how happy she must feel to be here again, where she belonged. But every time she remembered the way her heart had seized as she stood at the Pillars of Creation and watched Richard and Cara ride for the People’s Palace, she knew this was not her home.

As summer turned to autumn, she tried to forget. She had held on to that last glance for as long as she possibly could, but it was too painful. Remembering the one she loved disappearing across the plain was too gut-wrenching. And so Kahlan tucked the memory away. She stopped glancing out of the tall southeastern windows she passed each day on her way to the council chambers, the ones that overlooked the road into the city. She didn’t think she could bear another empty horizon.

The first time a man was brought before her, gagged with leather and tied with rope, Kahlan’s skin flushed clammy with sickness. The man was brave, Captain Riffkin told her, he came from a decent family. He would father strong children. When the housemaid at her side winked (handsome, too, she said), Kahlan vomited on the sleek tile floor of the petition room.

She ran all the way back to her quarters, and when she reached the balcony she fell to her knees and let the cold air bite at her skin. She looked up to find the first snowfall floating down around her, oblivious to her pain. In her mind, Kahlan clutched the baby she wanted, the one that would be created from love: the little girl with the bright smile and her mother’s eyes. There was no room for any other baby, not while that impossible child lived so vibrantly in her heart.

Kahlan held in her tears until the first snowflake landed on the palm of her hand. She stretched out her fingers to catch the snow, and as it fell she began to cry. She cried because she was the last, and for the baby that could never be. She cried for her love, and for their heartbreak. And because she still remembered everything.

In the morning, Kahlan lingered by the windows on her way to meet the council. She gave herself half an hour to feel the pain, to let the empty road pummel the tiny, stubborn hope that refused to die. And then she slid her Confessor’s mask back on, the way her mother taught her, and continued down the hall.

But no matter how many times Zedd squeezed her shoulders and told her that Richard wouldn’t stay in D’Hara forever, the words were no balm for the emptiness. No matter how often Kahlan’s childhood maid stroked her hair and said that her man would soon return, it made no difference to the rattling pieces of her heart. After a time, she stopped listening to the platitudes and started spending more time at the window. Kahlan feared the pain, but she bore it with grace, the way she liked to imagine Cara would.

On the first day of spring, the delegation from Galea ate a leisurely breakfast that stretched through the morning. Birds had begun to land in Aydindril once more, and Kahlan watched their colorful wings beat in the courtyard beneath her window. She knelt on the narrow ledge in front of the glass and ran her fingers along the rough sill. She stayed as long as she could, until she heard a door open around the corner and the distinctive sound of Galean chatter filled the air.

Kahlan glanced away, and she welcomed the familiar disappointment into her chest. At least when she hurt, she knew it had been real, and she knew she would not forget. As she began to turn, a starling caught her eye. It was dull compared to the other birds, just a dark, speckled thing in the midst of extravagantly colored feathers. Still, it shimmered in the sunlight, and Kahlan stared as it swooped close to her face and soared out into the city. She watched the bird until it disappeared. As she squinted to find it again in the clear sky, Kahlan felt the air twist out of her lungs.

With each desperate thump of her heart, the speck of red on the horizon grew larger. Kahlan’s vision narrowed, until all she saw was the tiny dot moving along the road. She felt wonder rise in her soul and hum through her veins, but she held it tight inside herself. She had waited this long. And she could wait a while longer, until her joy found its mate. For the figure on the skyline was more than a hero back from war.

It was Kahlan’s home, returned to her.


End file.
